Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Differences Between Domestic Partnership & Marriage


For all intents and purposes there is no legal difference between a California Domestic Partnership and a California Marriage.*

However, there many social and psychological differences between the two.

Here are just a few:


You DON'T propose Domestic Partnership.

You DO propose Marriage.


Easter morning I woke up early and quietly crept to Shannon's easter basket. I placed a box that contained a engagement ring in it.

When Shannon woke up I said hurry up let's go checkout what the Easter bunny brought us.

Shannon humored me by running down the hall to our baskets. (She thought I was excited because I'm Jewish and I love candy)

Shannon grabbed the box and said, "what's in here?"

I got down one knee and asked her to marry me.

Wedding Showers and Bachelor Parties

You DON'T have a wedding shower or a Bachelor Party when you are getting Domestic Partnered.

You DO have a wedding shower and/or a Bachelor Party when you are getting Married.

bachelor Party

Our friends took us out for a bachelor/ette party.

We started out at a Karaoke bar and eventually ended up at House of Pies.

The Ceremony

You DON'T have a ceremony for a Domestic Partnership.

You DO have a ceremony for a Marriage


Shannon and I got married on June 30, 2008 in a courthouse in Contra Costa County.

I was so nervous that I said I do too early so I had to say I do twice.

When we turned to see our family we saw both of our moms crying tears of joy.


You DON'T feed your spouse cake after you have been Domestic Partnered.

You DO feed your spouse cake after you have been Married.


We fed each other spoonfuls of tiramisu cake.

You DON'T have "Just Domestic Partnered" written on your car.

You DO have "Just Married" written on your car.


As we drove back to LA many people honked at us. And some even gave us the thumbs up as they drove by.

With every honk and every thumbs up I felt so proud to have been "Just Married!"

Federal Differences

Along with the differences I mentioned above there are thousands of differences at the federal level. Please click here to read more about the differences between Domestic Partnerships and Marriages federally.

*Hetero-sexual couples may not enter into a Domestic Partnership unless one or both of the parties is at least 62 years old.


Shannon said...

This is a great blog, but I think I am biased!

Eden James said...

Ditto to what Shannon said. I just emailed the link to this post to a bunch of marriage equality bloggers. Here's hoping it gets some traffic :-) -- Eden w/ the Courage Campaign

Eden James said...

Oh, and Tracy, good luck at your event tonight. Hope you saw your cameo in this new video, just released today:


Loralee Choate said...

I read this today from The Queen of Spain's tweet and I absolutely love it.

My biggest dream is that my sister is allowed to marry her partner of over 20 years. We live in Utah and it is so difficult here.

Not that this means anything but I knew that Pres. Obamas senior aide would be reading a post I wrote today about health care and I TOTALLY threw in a plea for gay marrigae.

You are a beautiful couple. This was an amazing post.

Anonymous said...

HOLLA!!! Fabulous post! Everyone deserves to get married! Why should only straight people have joint shitty insurance policies? HAHAHA just kidding! Congrats gals!

Rick Bucich said...

Love trumps everything, I wish people could see beyond their bigotry to realize it.

Baby Beatnik said...

Hi. I got the link from Queen of Spain too!

The thing that bothers me is everyone says "Love is blind," but then they come up with this "Marriage equals a man and a woman" crap.

People really need to examine their cliches before using them.

Great post. Congrats!

Rachael said...

The Queen of Spain sent me. What a lovely post. I love your smiles in the bachelor party pic! I fell right in... ain't love grand... ~happy sigh.

The day will come, it will, it really will! Keep the faith, and keep on trucking on.

I'm following your blog now. :)

Anonymous said...

There are actually some pretty significant legal differences at the state level too. See this page for details: http://community.livejournal.com/gay_marriage/277133.html

Anonymous said...

Sorry, my link didn't work. Here is the page.