The scene - I was walking into Von's (wearing my No on 8 t-shirt) and a man was collecting money for a halfway house.
Me: Sorry I don't have any cash but good luck today. (I walk to get a shopping cart)
Man: Did you vote no on 8?
Me: Absolutely!
Man: Prop 8 was about gay marriage right?
Me: Yes. I got married.
Man: To a man?
Me: No to a woman.
Man: But you voted no.
Me: A no vote meant you supported gay marriage
Man: (puzzled look) why did you do it? (he meant marry a woman)
Me: Are you married?
Man: Yes
Me: To you woman?
Man: Of course
Me: Well, why did you marry her?
Man: Because I loved her.
Me: Me too!
Man: Oh...Oh...Oh
Showing posts with label Repeal Prop 8. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Repeal Prop 8. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Differences Between Domestic Partnership & Marriage
California
For all intents and purposes there is no legal difference between a California Domestic Partnership and a California Marriage.*
However, there many social and psychological differences between the two.
Here are just a few:
Proposing
You DON'T propose Domestic Partnership.
You DO propose Marriage.
Easter morning I woke up early and quietly crept to Shannon's easter basket. I placed a box that contained a engagement ring in it.
When Shannon woke up I said hurry up let's go checkout what the Easter bunny brought us.
Shannon humored me by running down the hall to our baskets. (She thought I was excited because I'm Jewish and I love candy)
Shannon grabbed the box and said, "what's in here?"
I got down one knee and asked her to marry me.
Wedding Showers and Bachelor Parties
You DON'T have a wedding shower or a Bachelor Party when you are getting Domestic Partnered.
You DO have a wedding shower and/or a Bachelor Party when you are getting Married.
*Hetero-sexual couples may not enter into a Domestic Partnership unless one or both of the parties is at least 62 years old.
For all intents and purposes there is no legal difference between a California Domestic Partnership and a California Marriage.*
However, there many social and psychological differences between the two.
Here are just a few:
Proposing
You DON'T propose Domestic Partnership.
You DO propose Marriage.
Easter morning I woke up early and quietly crept to Shannon's easter basket. I placed a box that contained a engagement ring in it.
When Shannon woke up I said hurry up let's go checkout what the Easter bunny brought us.
Shannon humored me by running down the hall to our baskets. (She thought I was excited because I'm Jewish and I love candy)
Shannon grabbed the box and said, "what's in here?"
I got down one knee and asked her to marry me.
Wedding Showers and Bachelor Parties
You DON'T have a wedding shower or a Bachelor Party when you are getting Domestic Partnered.
You DO have a wedding shower and/or a Bachelor Party when you are getting Married.
Our friends took us out for a bachelor/ette party.
We started out at a Karaoke bar and eventually ended up at House of Pies.
The Ceremony
You DON'T have a ceremony for a Domestic Partnership.
You DO have a ceremony for a Marriage
Shannon and I got married on June 30, 2008 in a courthouse in Contra Costa County.
I was so nervous that I said I do too early so I had to say I do twice.
When we turned to see our family we saw both of our moms crying tears of joy.
Tradition
You DON'T feed your spouse cake after you have been Domestic Partnered.
You DO feed your spouse cake after you have been Married.
As we drove back to LA many people honked at us. And some even gave us the thumbs up as they drove by.
With every honk and every thumbs up I felt so proud to have been "Just Married!"
Federal Differences
Along with the differences I mentioned above there are thousands of differences at the federal level. Please click here to read more about the differences between Domestic Partnerships and Marriages federally.
We started out at a Karaoke bar and eventually ended up at House of Pies.
The Ceremony
You DON'T have a ceremony for a Domestic Partnership.
You DO have a ceremony for a Marriage
Shannon and I got married on June 30, 2008 in a courthouse in Contra Costa County.
I was so nervous that I said I do too early so I had to say I do twice.
When we turned to see our family we saw both of our moms crying tears of joy.
Tradition
You DON'T feed your spouse cake after you have been Domestic Partnered.
You DO feed your spouse cake after you have been Married.
We fed each other spoonfuls of tiramisu cake.
You DON'T have "Just Domestic Partnered" written on your car.
You DO have "Just Married" written on your car.
You DON'T have "Just Domestic Partnered" written on your car.
You DO have "Just Married" written on your car.
With every honk and every thumbs up I felt so proud to have been "Just Married!"
Federal Differences
Along with the differences I mentioned above there are thousands of differences at the federal level. Please click here to read more about the differences between Domestic Partnerships and Marriages federally.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Repealing Prop 8: Tough Conversations
Fired Up!
I have done the training, practiced the scenarios and I have had many conversations about Prop 8.
I left Camp Courage in East LA this weekend ready to go forth and continue the fight for marriage equality!
Out of the Blue
Today, I was sitting in a meeting with a client (who also happens to be a family member) and right in the middle of talking about the shopping cart functionality a discussion starts about Prop 8.
Realization
I realized that up until today I have really only had conversations with people who are supportive of same-sex marriages. I mean during my phone banking days I had some callers who told me they were voting yes on Prop 8 but I never really had a conversation with them.
I guess I have been lucky (or not).
Surprise!
So when the client said he voted yes on Prop 8 (after my initial shock) I thought about all my training. Stay calm, find out why, use persuasion and all that jazz.
I asked him, "How does my marriage to Shannon affect you?"
"Well it doesn't," he replied.
I preceded to ask why he voted yes. After he told me his reasons I used my "active listening" skills and said, "so it's the word marriage that you have a problem with?"
After some more questioning and me pointing out that before 1967 he wouldn't have been able to marry his wife (he is in an interracial marriage). He told me that, "marriage is between a man and woman." I replied, "so because Shannon and I have the same body parts we don't deserve to be married?"
We had some more back and forth then the conversation ended and I thanked him for discussing his views with me and for listening to what I had to say. He thanked me as well.
We hugged and then continued on with our work.
Baby Steps
I may not have changed his mind today but I KNOW I opened his heart.
What I learned today is the only way we are going to repeal prop 8 and gain marriage equality FOR ALL is having these kinds of tough conversations.
It isn't easy but it is necessary!
I have done the training, practiced the scenarios and I have had many conversations about Prop 8.
I left Camp Courage in East LA this weekend ready to go forth and continue the fight for marriage equality!
Out of the Blue
Today, I was sitting in a meeting with a client (who also happens to be a family member) and right in the middle of talking about the shopping cart functionality a discussion starts about Prop 8.
Realization
I realized that up until today I have really only had conversations with people who are supportive of same-sex marriages. I mean during my phone banking days I had some callers who told me they were voting yes on Prop 8 but I never really had a conversation with them.
I guess I have been lucky (or not).
Surprise!
So when the client said he voted yes on Prop 8 (after my initial shock) I thought about all my training. Stay calm, find out why, use persuasion and all that jazz.
I asked him, "How does my marriage to Shannon affect you?"
"Well it doesn't," he replied.
I preceded to ask why he voted yes. After he told me his reasons I used my "active listening" skills and said, "so it's the word marriage that you have a problem with?"
After some more questioning and me pointing out that before 1967 he wouldn't have been able to marry his wife (he is in an interracial marriage). He told me that, "marriage is between a man and woman." I replied, "so because Shannon and I have the same body parts we don't deserve to be married?"
We had some more back and forth then the conversation ended and I thanked him for discussing his views with me and for listening to what I had to say. He thanked me as well.
We hugged and then continued on with our work.
Baby Steps
I may not have changed his mind today but I KNOW I opened his heart.
What I learned today is the only way we are going to repeal prop 8 and gain marriage equality FOR ALL is having these kinds of tough conversations.
It isn't easy but it is necessary!
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